The nov. 10 issue has a problem with the front page. The context of it isn’t really in order and it’s all mixed up. “This reliable design will work with nearly any horizontal photo, no matter how deep, wide or directional it is – as long as all four elements are stacked in the correct order. When you mishandle the sequence of elements – in this case, putting the headline above the photo- you risk confusion. In news stories, the headline should touch the start of the story.” This statement from Harrower suggests that a proper order should be the photo, cutline, the headline, and then text. On the front page of the nov. 10 issue there is a headline, photo, and then cutline, which completely contradicts Harrower. Despite that, the rest of this front page is great and has a pretty legit layout, one that Harrower would appreciate.

http://www.fremont.k12.ca.us/2199203151847453/lib/2199203151847453/_files/2._11-10-2009.pdf

October 13 issue Critique (page 5)

The mug shots from the issue and specifically on this page were ridciulously small and somewhat blurry. They should have been cropped to a bigger size upon the release of this issue.  The mug shots don’t offer much information to the reader and their isn’t any captions to make a statement about the pictures. ”Mug shots should fill the frame tightly” (Harrower 50). Despite their small size, the mugshots were very good pictures and they fit well into the article.

http://www.fremont.k12.ca.us/2199203151847453/lib/2199203151847453/_files/October_13,_2010.pdf

original: “High School relationships may be fun and exciting, but are they going to end in marriage?”

weakness: Leads aren’t really supposed to be questions, and thats exactly what this one is.

new lead: High school relationships are full of adventure and lust, but rarely every do they last until life after high school.

strengths: This new lead states the purpose of the aritcle without posing a question.

Story (2): From the Rack to the Boutique

original: “Have you searched all over the department stores for that perfect prom dress and still have not found anything that you like?”

weakness: Just like before, this lead brings up a question to the reader.

new lead: Nothing is more abnoxious than having to look over a whole department store of the “perfect” prom dress and coming up with nothing in the end.

strengths: This new lead rids the element of a question to the reader and it also gives you some sort of mentality of what it would be like to not succeed in a prom dress hunt.

Story (3): Academy Award nominees reach for the gold

original: “The Academy Awards ceremony is on Marh 7.”

weakness: This lead is pretty boring and although it might be considered simple and to the point, it doesn’t really foreshadow what the aritcle is going to be about. I wouldn’t even bother reading an article if I came upon a lead like that

new lead: The much-anticipated Acadmey Awards will take play on March 7, there’s no way any film-fan can miss out on a feature like this!

strenghts: This new lead compells the reader to not only read the article but watch the Academy Awards as well. A lead like this makes the Academy Awards feel approriate.

Story (4): ASB raises money for Haiti with shirt sales

Original: “ASB is selling T-shirts to aid Haiti after the Jan.12 earthquake.”

weakness: Lead is too dull and ordinary, needs a little zest and details.

new lead: ASB is selling some awesome T-shirts to reach out to Haiti, after it was devastated by a massive earthquake on jan. 12.

strengths: Detailed and a little more prominent. Persaudes the reader to buy the Haiti T-shirt.

Who: Israel’s air force

What: Huge pilotless plane (Heron TP)

When: Sunday

Where: Tel Nof Air Force Base, Israel

Why: Israel can recieve access to Persian Gulf, allowing Iran to be within range

How: The Heron TP is able to remain airborne for a whole day and has a long flying distance

Indirect Lead:

“There was a woman who looked to be battling some kind of cancer and kept her hat on during the song. A man behind her tapped her on the shoulder and told her she needed to show respect for the country and remove her hat. A few people came to her defense, but he was adamant, so the woman complied. After she removed her hat, it was definitely obvious that she had just gone through chemotherapy.”

This lead is obviously an observation made by the author of the article. There is a debate whether or not it is considered mannered and ethical for women to remove their hats during the national anthem. Of course the majority of men immediately remove their hats and show respect to the country, but since when was that same oath taken upon women???